Try not to change – Photography changes everything | Merel Hegenbart

‘TRY NOT TO CHANGE – PHOTOGRAPHY CHANGES EVERYTHING’ reflects on the inherent qualities of photography. The book delves into an intimate journey where themes of grief, love, friendship, and freedom are palpable.

In 2020 Doro, a young woman from Croatia, moves to my community. Captivated by her liberated presence, I cannot stop photographing her and everything between us extensively for a year.

Two years later, in 2022, the triangular dynamic between Doro, myself, and the camera changes: Doro returns to Croatia, leaving the camera and me behind. Without Doro’s free-spirited presence, I realize that I miss this feeling of freedom within myself. Through self-portraiture, I embark on a quest to rediscover this freedom.

However, the more time I spend alone with the camera, the more I notice that photography hinders the sense of freedom. The camera transforms life into a performance, making me an actress in my own existence. But where does this

yearning for freedom come from? Gradually, I discover that its source is something entirely unexpected. The tension between me and the camera escalates until a deeper truth is revealed.